When You Criticize Someone, You Make It Harder for that Person to Change; Harvard Business Review, 12/19/13

Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review; When You Criticize Someone, You Make It Harder for that Person to Change: "“If everything worked out perfectly in your life, what would you be doing in ten years?”...That question about your perfect life in ten years comes from Richard Boyatzis, a professor at the Weatherhead School of Management at Case Western, and an old friend and colleague. His recent research on the best approach to coaching has used brain imaging to analyze how coaching affects the brain differently when you focus on dreams instead of failings. These findings have great implications for how to best help someone – or yourself — improve... Of course a manager needs to help people face what’s not working. As Boyatzis put it, “You need the negative focus to survive, but a positive one to thrive. You need both, but in the right ratio.”... Managers and coaches can keep this in mind. Boyatzis makes the case that understanding a person’s dreams can open a conversation about what it would take to fulfill those hopes. And that can lead to concrete learning goals. Often those goals are improving capacities like conscientiousness, listening, collaboration and the like – which can yield better performance... Bottom line: don’t focus on only on weaknesses, but on hopes and dreams. It’s what our brains are wired to do."